The Horror of “I Told You So”
Close your eyes for a moment (well, read the following instruction before you close your eyes).
Do your best to remember a time that you summoned all the courage within you and even disregard all the voices of objections around you and go for what you really wanted to do.
It could be going for bungee jumping, changing or quitting job or career, dating that person your friends or family didn’t approve, moving to a new city or as simple as trying a bizarre dish on the menu.
What’s your biggest fear when you made that decision?
Feeling regretful afterwards?
Being alienated by your family and friends?
The hard work?
The possible disappointment?
I decided to officially put myself out there, letting the world know that I am a coach, around December 2019.
Before that, when I was leaving the corporate life, I told people, “I want to try something on my own.” (What I didn’t say was I was kind of fed up with my full time job standing in between me and surfing.)
Before that, most of my friends and acquaintances had assumed that at some point in my life I would start my own business. That was how they saw me.
Yet, up until this moment, I do all I can to AVOID using the word “business” for my work and “entrepreneur” to label myself.
I’ve been saying that these two words simply don’t connect anymore.
I’ve been saying that my primary business is LIFE as a whole, not some single career.
I’ve been saying that this is a mission I launched myself on and it’s more than a business and I am not a person creating a business.
Deep down there is a nagging tiny voice badgering me all along, “Really?!”
And it would add even, “You coward!”
I’ve made plenty of choices that scared the shit out of me in my life.
Quitting art, which resulted in a fall-out with my parents.
Taking my very first solo backpacking trip.
Telling a man that I loved him when he was not slightly interested.
Moving to India on the next day after the famous Mumbai train bombing.
Going to Milan for fashion alone without speaking the language.
Quitting a promising corporate job and living on my savings.
Making a drop on a wave taller than me; clueless whether I was going to make it.
No, the truth is that I can’t connect to the word “business” or “entrepreneur” is because then it is official.
And what scares me the most?
Not making it to create the life I want?
Well, this is scary plenty enough.
But it’s not my biggest fear.
My biggest fear is those people who thought I was crazy or were pessimistic about my decision will finally get their chance to say, “I told you so.”
The underlining of my being wrong and others being right.
The ancient old human ego play of being on the right side.
Truth to be told, I failed all my “business” goals in 2021 and quite a few personal ones.
So, what came with missing business goals?
The shame, the doubt and the possible financial distress. So very spiritual and so very real.
At some point last December, I decided to let it come. I decided to let “I told you so” washed over me; to let others to be “right.”
As I learned from surfing, BE WITH THE FEAR and continue going.
Yes, I am building a business and yes, I am a solopreneur (My goal is to not to be solo anymore in 2022).
And yes, I am failing but FAILING FORWARD.
Right or wrong don’t really have a part in the formula of life.
Turn the vulnerability to be your ally. It will always be there but it doesn’t have to be the enemy.
Know the shadow is what helps you to see the light.
In a world of putting up the facade, I am inviting you to tear it down and see your true strength come with your vulnerability.
What’s the shadow side of things in your life?
Could you see it and embrace it and even, harness it?
- Are you an achiever, a doer and a go getter? Achieving is daily life for you; yet, is there a voice constantly telling you you are not enough?
- Have you had setbacks, heart breaks, challenges, struggles and you simply get up and get going?
- Do you have parts of you neatly tucked away because everyone says those will stop you from being successful?
- Do you play by the rules in every aspect of your life and feel exhausted and lost?
- Do you have a story or a truth burning inside; yet, you never have the permission to speak it out?
Do you want to believe there is another way to Lead and Live that is full of compassion and love by your own definition?
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